Aftermath

I found myself thinking about loss and the profound effect it can have on us mere mortals. Loss of a friend, loss of a lover, loss of a job. Loss of whatever it is you once held dear that no longer is, either in existence or just in the present. We’ve all lost something or someone, and if you cared enough then dealing with the aftermath is well, something else.

One day it seems like you have it all; the perfect job, the amazing spouse, your friends for life, those cute little babies, and we can keep going. But the next it’s gone. Gone away like it wasn’t even there. Like the clock ticked and in that second, something changed. Something was missing. But thing is, you know it was there. You feel like there’s a part of you that was full. Whole even. 

So now you crave. Crave for a certain presence. Crave for the thing you lost. Then empty space. A void. One that you cannot explain away. You tell yourself that if only you could understand why. If only you could reason it out, then you wouldn’t feel this way. But is there ever a reason good enough that makes it right? That makes the loss okay?

Sometimes even when you are at fault, even when you caused the loss yourself, you never want to believe the pain is the price you have to pay. Say if you committed fraud and got sacked from work or cheated on your lover and got left or deceived your friend and they no longer talk to you. You may even want to argue that if there are lessons to be learned at all, why not teach them in a much less excruciating way? 

Then there are the times when you are free of guilt and blameless. There you are, faithful worker, committed wife, loving husband, loyal friend, you know? The epitome of goodness. Then out of nowhere, there goes tragedy. Sneaky little demon to creep on you like that. Like hey, you were actually being a good person. What else does the universe want from you?  

Now, look around you, who’s there? Look again, what do you already have? So on any given scale, how much do you appreciate who and what you have? How do you show that you appreciate it or them? More importantly, does it feel appreciated? Open your eyes and see what you have and if you care, take care of it. For every other loss, there’s not much we can control in life. Sometimes, we can only weep, or wail, depending on your style, breathe deeply, believe it gets better and in good time, it does. It does get better.

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