Stay Free

I can’t possibly think of a thing in the wide world that transcends the feeling of peace. Like just sitting there with yourself feeling all calm and contented. Just being there, doing nothing and feeling okay. Every moment I’ve felt this feeling is every moment I’ve wanted to hold on longer to it. I bet you have too; felt that peace at some point in life. The kind that you wouldn’t wish to let go of? Yet how easily fleeting it can be. How easily it can just go away. And when it does, when it does go away? There isn’t much fun in everything else. 

Think about how often you lose your peace. It is a lot of times in a day or a week? And when you do, what usually is the cause? Is it that what you expected to happen did not? Or that you didn’t get what you wanted? Is it that someone deserted certain important plans with you? Can we say that it’s that certain expectations were not met? Either our expectations from life or from others. Of course, it can be frustrating. It can be upsetting. It can feel some type of way. I mean, it should feel some type of way. When the high hopes you had in getting a certain job are crushed. When the people you trust don’t value your trust. And on and on. It’s only natural that you should feel some type of way about it. 

But it’s these situations that leave us waging internal wars that have no end. When what you expected to happen does not or when others disappoint you. Trying to understand what happened, why it happened and whether there was something you could do about it. This constant wondering and obsessing about unfulfilled expectations or unmet desires is what easily turns your feeling-at-peace boat upside down. It’s in such situations that for your continued peace, you need to make a choice to set yourself free. Free from complaining about the unexpected turns and twists of life. Free from blaming others for their own choices that seemed or were actually unfair to you.   

If it’s peace that you want, then setting yourself free is the conscious choice you make. Lick your wounds gently and while they’re not the prize you wanted, they’re a sign you believed deeply in something or someone. See things exactly for what they are rather than what you want them to be. See people for who they are rather than what you want them to be. So that you don’t resent others for not being who you want them to be or who they should have been. Even when you think they should be the kind of person you wanted them to be. The choices people make, consciously or subconsciously are for them and maybe sometimes, even for you. To heal and get your peace, you need to see that. And instead of trying to turn people, to make them change their minds and see things your way, see their actions as their choice. 

In the spiritual existence that we are all a part of, all real energy even anger, greed or selfishness, come from a deep and real place. That place is not always easy to understand for everyone you come across. Behind all your emotions, triggers and eventually actions, is a story. While you can’t solely eradicate this darkness from others, it is your call to understand that other people’s choices are driven by a million little things, none of which you have a control of. This understanding brings you to a place where your inner peace is not uprooted or swirled wildly based on the choices of others.

So maybe their choices are motivated by all the wrong things. Maybe their darkness took a toll on them. Maybe they’ll regret these choices. But these are realisations that they should come to on their own. Every man should create a level of consciousness within themselves that makes them know when they are wrong. When they may have been selfish. When they may have let their anger take a toll on them. Only then is mutual coexistence a reality. You can never tie a leash on someone and drag them along to the direction you want them to go. As much as it’s good for them to go in that direction. As much as it’s also what you want and what is good for your togetherness. At the end of the day, someone can only stay a course that they intrinsically understand the value of. It has to be their choice to go in that direction.

So no, it’s not okay that that mama expects you to sleep your way into that job. Or that he hits you every day and you keep crying yourself to sleep or covering up in make up. Or that your children are scarred for life living in that situation for years. Or that he sleeps around and you just stay home waiting for him plus some STDs. Or that she promises to pay you for the work but never does. They say trust the energy you get. If it feels like abuse, it probably is. If it feels like disrespect, it probably is. Don’t force things. Don’t sulk at people for making their own choices. If these things don’t give you peace? If you don’t feel calm and contented? Find your peace. Make your own choice and live with that. 

So the same way another person makes their own choices is the same way you can make your own. And every time, make the choice that frees you. The choice that keeps you feeling at peace. Don’t stay longer in any situation that doesn’t serve you. Don’t beg for any position or role in any way that makes you feel less dignified. You may lose it all but keep your sanity. Keep your peace. And you’ll find new territories to conquer. You’ll find your green pasture. Expect nothing from no one. But take nothing less than what you deserve. And I don’t know what you think you deserve. But I hope it’s nothing but the best. 

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